It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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