Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
