OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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