The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
