i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
