I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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