I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
