You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
