Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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