Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
