Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
