Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
