There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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