Plan B is the new Plan A
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
