I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
