it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
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