I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
