i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
