Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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