My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think your dad took our porno
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
