My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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