I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize