We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
