Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
