dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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