where am i from again
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize