Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
