you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
