I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
