Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
