I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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