Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's just like the Real World with babies
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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