I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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