omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
