i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
