would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
