forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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