yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
