This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
