I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
