yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
