i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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