If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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