Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
