Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
