real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How's work?
Spinning.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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