You're my little dorito
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
