you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
