I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Don't make out with my wife yet
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
