are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
