Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize