if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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