maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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