if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Say something about gay babies.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
