WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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